Inside The Hearts' Walls

By Turtle Shell


This is one of the October 19 meeting's Next Time poems.

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Next Time


Next time, what I'll do
is try to join a club or two.

I won't slip in and out of school again
like a sewing needle with no thread.
Next time I'll do more than spend my days
just attending classes, and getting A's.

I'll unlearn how not to be seen,
unlearn how to not talk to strangers.

Unlearn skills hard won to protect the fragile heart
of a weird child who couldn't bear criticism,
from the childish peers
who couldn't let weirdness go unmocked.

Those skills were hard won and are harder lost.
So I'll join some clubs. Maybe a study group.
I'll smile at people, just to see who smiles back.
I'll learn to engage conversation, and not just deflect it.

I can relearn how to make friends.
It's an ability I had once, long ago,
so I'm certain I can reclaim it.

What is going back to school for,
if not to learn such useful things?
That's what I'll do, next time.